10 Things to know about Approaching a Woman
Ok, you’ve been there a thousand times. You see a woman who you want to get to know. She’s beautiful and there is just something about her you find intriguing. What do you do?
You might walk up to her, introduce yourself and start a conversation. A lot of men would. But, if you’re like most men you probably let the moment pass without doing a thing. You liked her, you were interested in her and now she is gone forever.
For many men the hardest part of meeting women is the approach. We tell ourselves that if we can only get a chance to talk to them; if they would only get to know us then they would like us. You need to learn to be a master of the approach or, as I like to call it, an "Approach Monster
Here are ten tips for approaching women.
- Don’t think too much. Most men make the mistake of trying to be too clever and they hesitate. When you hesitate you start thinking about all the things that can go wrong. To avoid this practice rule two:
- Act fast. Use what is known as the three-second rule. Approach the woman within three seconds of establishing your interest. Don’t stop and think about what to say (see Rule 1) just make your approach. Now, what do you say when you get there? See tip three.
- Look for something. Find something in the environment to comment upon and start a discussion. For instance, if you’re standing in line at the airport and a striking woman takes her place behind you in line, turn to her and ask a question about what is going on around you. Something like, “Do you know if the plane is going to be on-time?” will work. Hey, you’ve just broken the ice and made an approach.
- Project Self-Confidence. This is a matter of attitude and body language. Stand up straight, look like you belong there and speak with authority. You need to act like talking to her is as normal an event as possible. One little caveat here, the better looking the girl, the harder it will be to maintain your self-confidence. Just like anything this is something you work up too. Learn Self-Confidence
- Don’t approach too fast. This may seem to be in opposition of tip #2, but it really is an extension of the previous tip. You don’t want to approach her so fast that you appear as a threat. If you make eye contact across the room from 50 feet away and run up to her while never breaking eye contact you will appear a little weird. Make the pace of your approach as normal and inconspicuous as possible.
- Make effective use of eye contact. Eye contact is the single most effective tool you can use in seduction, especially during the approach stage. Women are very intuitive about eye contact. Generally, if you are interested you use your eyes to telegraph that to the woman. You need to make eye contact on the approach and about 75% - 80% of the time that you are talking to her.
- Listen and focus. Once you have made your approach and are talking to her. Focus your attention on her and try to really listen to what she is saying. You can respond in various ways, but at least know what she is talking about so you can target your response around what she is saying. Focus on her to the exclusion of the other happenings going on around you. She will find this fascinating and intriguing.
- Don’t appear nervous. Don’t fidget, shake the ice in your glass or perform any other annoying acts that will show you are uncomfortable. As with everything involving the opposite sex, you will get better at this with practice.
- Match the cadence of her voice. Have you noticed that different people speak at different paces. When I was in living in the South most of the people spoke at a much lower pace than the people in California. I had to adjust the tempo and cadence of my voice when I lived there to match everyone else. You need to do the same. Match how fast and loud you are talking to the same volume and speed as the women you are speaking with.
- Smile. A smile goes a long way and will make you more attractive and interesting.