Easy Seduction

Should you Cheat on your Partner?

Today I am going to address a question that every man and most women ask themselves at some time in their lives.  Should you cheat on your partner?

According to data from the University of Chicago's National Opinion Research Center. About 15 percent of women surveyed in 2002 said they'd ever had sex with someone besides their spouse while married, and 22 percent of men had. Roughly 2 percent of women and 4 percent of men had done so within the past year.  As with all surveys the data is suspect because of the question.  Most people will answer in the manner they think the question should be answered.

The survey also did not ask how many people had considered cheating nor did it define cheating.  There is a character in the TV series, “The Shield” who says, “Eating ain’t cheating.” Which goes to show you that one person’s definition might not be the same as another one’s.  I’ll leave it to you to decide what cheating means to you.

It is my personal belief that the combined technologies of the Internet and the cell phone have done more to destroy fidelity and relationships than any other factor in recent years.  Want to cheat, simply click over to Ashley Madison or Adult Friend Finder and you will find literally thousands of people looking to have relationships outside of their relationship.  Before the Internet you might have had access to someone at work or a friend but other than that you would be hard pressed to easily find a large number of people looking to play outside their primary relationship.  Now it is easy.

There is an old adage, “Men are only as faithful as their options”. And while this isn’t true for everybody the Internet has made options plentiful and cell phones along with hidden e-mail accounts make secret communication easy.  This provides many more opportunities for a surreptitious sexual relationship.  Combine this with the fact that men don’t get offered sex as often as women do and hey, when the opportunity arises, it can be very difficult for them to turn it down.

I also read somewhere that the largest users of prepaid cell phone are airline pilots.  Why?  Because these can’t be traced, at least by your partner and there will be no “trail of evidence on your cell phone bill”.  Oh yeah, pilots cheat a lot.  So do sailors, cops and firemen.  But you probably already knew that.

The first thing you need to consider when deciding whether or not to cheat is the downside, because there can be a huge downside to all of this.  Whenever you cheat you risk not only the relationship, but friendships, careers and even your life.  Check out the video below for an example of something you don’t want to happen to you:

So don’t take cheating lightly, because you can destroy a lot of things for what really is a momentary pleasure.

Here is an important fact about cheating.  In fact, it is probably the single most important fact and most people simply ignore it and don’t want o believe it, especially if you are a woman being cheated on by a man.  This is the fact that both people in the relationship are at fault…always.  People cheat when a relationship is broken, boring or over, and that can only happen when both people within the relationship refuse to invest in the relationship or pay enough attention to notice when something is going wrong.

 Considering cheating, not as a fantasy but really truly considering it shows that there is something wrong in your relationship.  When you find yourself in this place you have four choices, two of which are healthy.  These are:

1.      Decide to fix your relationship and make it better.

2.      Decide to end your relationship.

3.      Decide to keep the status quo and do nothing.

4.      Decide to keep the status quo and to cheat.

The first two choices might result in your happiness, the last two will, at best, provide only some short-term pleasure and long term grief.

If you are considering cheating ask yourself the following questions:

 Are you getting enough sex in your relationship?  Lack of sex is probably the number one reason men cheat. For women I would guess it is different, but since I’m not a woman I can only guess at that.  But for a guy if he isn’t getting any or enough sex and he has the opportunity he will consider cheating.

 Are you bored?  After lack of sex, boredom is probably the most common reason people cheat.  It’s like Christmas.  Remember when you were a kid on Christmas morning and you would run down stairs to open all your presents?  You were always excited and wondered what each carefully wrapped box contained.  It was great.

 Well imagine how exciting it would be to run down stair and open the same present every Christmas for twenty years.  Not too exciting is it?  Well that’s the situation many couples find themselves in after far less than 20 years.

 Are you happy in your relationship with the other person?  Many people are unhappy in their current relationship.  It may have been exciting once, but now it’s stale and boring.  There are measures you can take to salvage your relationship at this point, but you have to be basically happy with it.  I have been in relationships before where I was miserable but didn’t have the time or energy to go through the break up.  If this is you rather than cheat, think about ending the relationship in a more traditional manner.  It is fairer to both you and your soon to be ex-partner.

 Do you need an ego boost?  People often cheat in order to validate themselves.  Not feeling good looking enough or feeling unfulfilled at work or at home?  Finding some “strange” might be just the thing to pick you up.  It really isn’t the solution to the problem, but it is often a reason.

 Are you angry with the other person?  Is your partner cheating on you?  People often use sex as a weapon in the battle of the sexes.  I have been with women that, if they found out you were cheating would trot right down to the bar and have sex with as many people as possible simply out of spite.  Yes, people are funny like that. Depending on the situation you might even find that someone banging your former partner is your best friend, so now you’re down a partner and a friend. Yeah, people are funny like that too.

 Okay, enough bad news.  This isn’t intended to be a ”How-to” manual, but rather a discussion on the consequences of cheating and possible options to avoid the negative side effects.  You have a lot of options when it comes to fixing the problems and concerns that make you want to cheat.  I will go over some of these options in future articles.  But for now I leave you with the following pieces of advice.

If you absolutely have to cheat, you know, you have a insatiable craving for new and different partners, then end your current relationship.  You have no purpose or reason being in a relationship so at least have enough respect for your partner to get out of it.

If you are intending to stay in your relationship and cheat anyway then find a partner who knows you're cheating and who is willing to play anyway.  Check out Ashley Madison and sign up for an account.  Everyone there knows what your up to and is willing to work with you in staying secret at least to some extent.