Matching your partners’ Sex Drive

 One of the most neglected aspects of a relationship is sexual compatibility.  When people are evaluating someone for long-term partnership not enough emphasis is placed on the sexual aspects of their relationship.  This is a mistake.  While not the most important aspect to consider, having a similar sex drive is a critical component of a successful long-term relationship.

Think about it.  If you have a very different sex drive than your partner it probably will cause problems. If you want it all the time, say daily, and your partner only wants it 1-2 times a week do you think you will be happy long term?  You know that you won’t.  It’s the same result when the situation is reversed.  If your partner wants it all the time and you don’t, are you really going to be comfortable and trusting when you are out of town?

Let’s face it; people cheat on their partners.  No, it’s not 100%, but there is a reason websites like Ashley Madison are so popular.  In almost all cases of cheating it’s the fault of both partners.  Also, in a lot of cases, it is because one person isn’t getting as much sex as they need.  One or the other person in a relationship is unsatisfied they often go looking for what is missing elsewhere. 

Everybody knows someone who is happy with all aspects of their relationship but one…Sex.  The sex is boring and too routine.  People miss that good old fashioned no holds barred humping between the sheets that characterized the relationship in the beginning.

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For the most part men have a higher sex drive than women.  This isn’t always true but I would wager that in most situations’ that is the way it works.  So if you’re a man, and you want to be happy in your relationship long term, you need to find a woman whose sex drive matches yours.  When you find a girl like this hang on to her, they are rare.

If you are a woman you need to match your guy’s sex drive.  If you don’t have as high a sex drive this might be difficult for you, but you need to face up to the fact that men are going to oftentimes want more sex.

When people are first in a relationship the sex is often non-stop.  You’re in love and you can’t get enough of the other person.  After a few months (years if you’re lucky) have passed the sex starts to die.  First the adventure goes out of it and it becomes routine, then the frequency dies and the relationship goes to a whole different place.

A friend once described it to me with the following story:

Remember when you were a kid on Christmas morning.  When you woke up you were all excited and ran downstairs to open your presents and see what you had been given.  Well now imagine that you received the exact same gift for twenty years in a row.  It’s hard to get excited about it.

How can you keep this from happening you need to take steps continually to prevent it from happening.  Yes, you need to be experimental and creative.  Yes, you need to date your mate and do special things to show one another you care. Yes, you need to communicate.  One top of all that you need to have sex on a regular basis, and that means as often each person wants it.

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This will be easier if you chose a partner who has the same sex drive as you.