Easy Seduction

Self Confidence in Seduction

“Thought is the sculptor who can create the person you want to be”

                                     (Henry David Thoreau)

What is the one indispensable quality you need to be a powerful seducer?  All things being equal, confidence, both in yourself and your abilities, is the most critical factor in seduction.  Confidence alone will determine your success and failure when you approach and meet women.

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Improved confidence is the one main thing that has massively improved my success rate with women over the years. Growing up I was a shy overweight kid right up through Junior High.  My experiences during this period shaped my view of myself and this reflected itself in how I approached pick-up and seduction.  I had a seriously flawed self-concept and low self-confidence when it came to women.  Needless to say, I did not have a lot of girlfriends during this period as I didn’t feel good about myself and consequently never had the confidence to approach women.  I was terribly afraid of rejection. 

Now I did get laid during this time, but because the pickings were few and far between I had to settle for what I could get.  Quantity over quality you might say.  Ever been in that situation?  You see the girl you would like to meet and get to know but you lack the confidence to approach her and the skills necessary to advance the meeting after you do.

My typical approach during this period was to enter a bar or club, check out the place and then position myself such that the women I was interested in would see me and then hope that she would either make the approach or indicate that it was safe for me to approach her.  Pretty pussy method isn’t it?  (Pussy method it may be, but my experience tells me that this is the method practiced extensively by a large percentage of men.)

How successful do you think this method was?  That’s right, not very.

I quickly realized that in order to meet more women, and quality women at that, I would need to increase my confidence level. What I wanted to achieve was “bulletproof” confidence – the ability to approach any women fearlessly and not to worry about rejection or what to say.  (As an aside, that is the beauty of the 3-Second rule.  You inject yourself into a situation before your conscious mind comes up with every excuse in the book and paralyzes you.  This is a great habit to develop, and you need confidence to develop it.)

How did I improve my self-confidence?  I chose to use affirmations and positive focus.  Here is how it works.  Affirmations are things we are telling ourselves.  They are the narrative of the story of our lives.  When I was a child I was overweight and, kids being kids, I was constantly being reminded of that fact.  It wasn’t everyday, but I continued to beat myself up everyday by constantly affirming to myself I was fat. This constant diet of negative affirmations programmed me so well I actually believed it even after I had lost the weight and achieved an above average level of physical fitness.  That is the power of affirmations.

Positive focus on the other hand is the habit of focusing on what you do well.  I was unconfident with women, that is true, but just like you I was very confident in other areas of my life.  I simply started focusing on what I did well and visualized transferring my competence into other areas, like meeting and seducing women.  For example, I am very mechanically inclined and sort of a geek, so I can talk for hours on subjects like working on engines or the ins and out’s of  Battlestar Galactica.  Just knowing this tells me that I can carry on a conversation with women on certain subjects.  By focusing on this fact I can destroy the negative beliefs like “I can never talk to women.”

Okay, enough discussion, let’s do something to start improving your self-confidence.  Here’s an exercise.

1)      Go to any venue where you might meet or interact with women, or even men.  The key point is that you are going to approach strangers to start a conversation.

2)      Note what thoughts are going thorough your head when you consider making the approach.  I’d bet you even money that a lot of them are negative.  Awareness is sometimes curative and now you are aware.

3)      Start to notice how you reference yourself throughout the day.  Are you using negative terms?  Do you say things like, “I’m always screwing up.” Or “I’m just no good at _____.”  If you are you are programming beliefs in your head which will limit you.

4)      Start reframing your beliefs and building confidence by transforming what and how you say things.  Start small by repeating positive affirmations to yourself on  a daily basis and replacing the negative things you say about yourself with positive things.

That’s a start.  As you may know from earlier articles I have written, I am predisposed to taking action in lieu of any other approach, and I am a huge fan of taking action NOW.  If you really want to improve your confidence level and your game you need to follow a regular and consistent program to build confidence.  One of the best ways I know is to purchase and use Ross Jeffries Self-Confidence Course.  It will take your through a structured program designed to increase your confidence and competence.  Get started by clicking on the link below:

Ross Jeffries Self-Confidence Course

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